I'm not dead...

I is coming back...

Holy Sh!t

Hey guys, sorry I havent been around and the website wasnt online yet but that will be established. I wasn't around because I had been on Christmas vacation doing some confidential crap and a heap of paperwork.

When I got back, one of my henchemmen told me to stop typing with a stupid accent (sorry about that, I know there was a poll but not enough people voted), when he was the one who originally told me to type with an accent to make it sound more dramatic.

Anyway, I have to go.
-Dave

Getting Back Again

Hey guys, anyvay so I have been avay for the past veeks, an you're probably vondering vhy. It's because my anonymous sidekick vas on holiday (if I give you his identity, I vill have to kill you), and since he's a human, he has arms. Zherefore he types for me and does all of ze stuff zat requires limbs. He also fills in for me vhile I'm preserving, vhich is basically sleeping in mi pickle jar vhile tubes connected into me give me nutrients and a mutant liquid marked confidential (because it is far too dangerous and vasteful to be in ze wrong hands. Also because scientists vill try to destroy it too keep zis planet safe and maybe even use it too track me down.) vhich vas used to bring me to life, but is now being used to keep me alive.

Ze vebsite is almost up and I hope to get it done in about two ar three veeks. If I do start a Youtube show, it von't be untill next year.

Anywhay, I have to go.
Dave

Dave Hogan

Dave Hogan

New post out next Friday. Vebsite out soon.

Update

Hello follovers,
As you might know, I haven't been updating mi blog lately because of mi vebsite, but I vill definatley be putting on new posts. Ze new posts vill come out every Thursday, Friday or Saturday.

New Vebsite

Hello follvers, vitcims or vhatever sh*t you are, I am vorking on a vebsite vhere you vill have access to mi YouTube videos, mi blog, news (Including news zhat von't be put on ze blog), pictures, podcasts (maybe), PI zhings and probably more. I vill post updates on it every week.

Weekly Posts Update

Hello victims, follovers, computer nerds, complete douches or whatever the f*ck you are. I have just  realized zat a true evil mastermind needs to be stern so I vill start to svear a bit more and be harder on everybody else (Exept for mi follovers and partners in the production of Pickle Industries.) so the monthly poll question vill be Should I asterix out svear vords in mi posts?